By Giorgia Caso
WARNING: this article contains SPOILERS!
When talking about One Day, fate or destiny is a theme that will eventually come up. Fate and destiny though are not the same thing. In fact, according to LanGeek, ‘fate’ is more about the ‘lack of control’ over our actions while ‘destiny’ is the ‘purpose and personal agency’. In this novel, they are both relevant.
Dexter and Emma, the main protagonists of the novel, become friends after university (to know more about the story, stay updated as one of our next articles is a book review on this novel). They met in Edinburgh. Even though it's where everything started especially on those stairs below (where they kissed for the first time), they never go back there together. This could be seen as another sign of fate because the only time one of them goes back to that city is to remember how it all started and where. After a few years from Emma's death, Dexter goes to Edinburgh with his daughter and shows her the places where he went with Emma. It's also a sign of his maturity and finally appreciation of the wonderful person Emma was to his whole world. It was also a sort of tribute to her memory and a full circle moment.
After they finish university, they still remain in contact especially while they travel over summer: Emma around the UK with her acting company and Dexter around the world. From every country he visits, he sends a postcard to Em with a few words at the back. In return, Emma sends letters (often of a few pages!) to Dexter. This way, they keep each other updated on their life even though they are physically apart. Fate, in this case, kept them away from each other to maybe test their friendship that started a day before they were separated. They both keep all these letters and postcards and, after Emma dies, Dexter finds them all and wished he would have written longer letters to her too.
Every year on July 15th, the narrator tells the reader about where Dex and Em are in life. Usually, they meet on this day too which is like a record of their life at that precise time. Time and timing is often related to fate because it can seem that everything good can happen in a certain moment and yet everything can fall apart too. We human beings constantly change with time. Sometimes, we become a person we don’t like. It is shown in the novel with Dexter when he is enthralled by fame and doesn’t value his close relationships like with his mum, dad and Emma. This leads to an estrangement of Emma who can’t deal with this version of Dexter as he also becomes addicted to drugs. In this example, they couldn’t avoid it but just deal with the situation at hand. In fact, his dad, before Dexter’s mum died, threatened him to never come back to their house if intoxicated. It was his coping mechanism as he saw his mum withering away and at that time his dad thought that this was the better way to approach him and maybe make him change. Yet, it took him to lose people dear to him, like Emma, to realise that he was becoming someone he couldn’t recognise himself.
Throughout their life as friends, they have their moments where one of them attempts to change the status of their relationship. One of the first times was when they first met. Later on, when they go on holidays in Greece together, Dexter casually says ‘I like you’. This last moment is crucial because as Emma doesn’t respond, Dexter finishes the sentence with ‘but I like everyone’. Even if he says this, there still is a constant desire for each other that is often repressed. When they go to the beach in Greece, there is another scene in which Dexter puts suncream on Emma’s back and they both feel something which we know because the author tells us what they think in that moment but they don’t act according to their feelings.
It is also true that for most of their lives, Dexter could have been considered too immature for Emma as a potential partner. She has always been more mature than him and thought about her future and her career while, especially in his 20s, he only thought of having fun and settling for a career on TV, in particular, in working for TV programmes that were considered futile and silly. This difference between them inevitably pull them apart until they no longer talk. It is fate once again as in a way they needed this time apart to probably appreciate their friendship more, especially on Dexter’s part, as he was neglecting Emma.
The events that happen to them such as Dexter’s mum's death afflicted them both yet in distinct ways. They are very different temperamentally which leads them to often argue about dealing with life. When Dexter’s mum dies for example, he tries to focus only on his job on TV and mostly trying to distract himself from his grief by ‘having fun’. Emma, on the contrary, does understand why he acts this way but after years that he does act in the same way, she decides to step apart. This year when they are apart is rather difficult for both of them yet I personally think it was bound to happen. After this moment away from each other, they both slowly realise that they’ve been wrong in giving up on their friendship and they go back to each other once again.
When Dexter is divorced and goes to see Emma in Paris though, he realises that they are meant to be together after they spent a night together before Emma went away. He goes to see her and she is with someone else which has often happened but the other way round so Dexter was with someone while Emma hoped to get with him. In Paris, he decides to step up and confess his love for Emma (what a coincidence that this happens in 'the city of love'!). Here, Dexter finally finds out that what he's been looking for his whole life was just in front of him. Fate, once again, imposes its role and destiny resolves all their issues. By making the choice of telling her how he really feels, he puts down the wall of the 'we're just friends'.
Emma, contrarily to Dexter, hasn’t had many relationships. She had to see him though with many girls which was often hard to digest especially when she felt more vulnerable and needed him. In fact, when they almost get together in Paris and she reveals that she is seeing someone, he gets sad and doesn’t see why she wouldn’t just break up with him. She confesses then that she’s been waiting for him her whole life but he didn’t see her as a potential girlfriend as she was always his friend and he thought that getting together would destroy their friendship.
Many fears and wrong times got them closer and then apart which is what fate is all about. ‘Right person wrong time’ couldn’t be more accurate for their relationship. Personally though, I don’t believe it because if it would have been the right person it would have stayed when he had to. I think they got together in the end when they were both ready for each other which is hard to think about because they could have been together since the beginning. And yet, they didn’t have much time to be happy together as she then dies in an accident a few years after they got together but this is fate as well. She taught him so many things that he wouldn’t have known if they didn’t get together.
They kissed a few times or attempted to sleep together, since the beginning of the movie yet they do it much later on. Timing is everything but they were both impatient most of the novel. When everything seemed to turn in the right direction though, here there is another obstacle. Yet, they finally overcome all the obstacles and get together.
To know more about One Day and what we thought about it, go have a listen to our episode on Spotify. And finally, if you're interested in knowing more about the differences between the novel, film and Netflix show read the article by clicking on this.
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