By Giorgia Caso
June is men’s health awareness month and this week is dedicated to it, in particular. Even though it should be normal to consider everyone’s health, there still is a gender divide. Men's, women's and non-binary's health is pondered upon differently.
In the 21st century, we still have many gender issues. Men are still expected to 'man up' but why is that so? Since the beginnings of history, societies all around the world have been predominantly patriarchal. Men have often been the ones deciding for everyone so in a way this sense of responsibility may have brought expectations. As those in charge of others, men have also been encouraged to think rationally and leave feelings and emotions to those considered 'weaker'. Biologically too, we are built differently but are we to be define by our genders?
In the 18th century, men used to wear heels and make-up yet nowadays these things are considered 'feminine' because society has changed and dictated unwritten rules. These separations are for some reason stronger today and they have an impact on men's mental health too. 'Toxic masculinity' seems to be a really popular subject and everyone has their opinions on it.
On this occasion, there are books that are focused on men's health which could be interesting from a social point of view: why is it that men's health is not as valued as women's for example? In celebration of men's health awareness week and month, we have some books that we recommend on the matter.
1. Notes on a Nervous Planet by Matt Haig
When reading The Midnight Library, I became a huge fan of Matt Haig because of his capacity to directly get to his readers' hearts. While looking at his other books, I noticed that he had a book on his journey with mental illnesses such as depression. Considering that men in particular don't often speak up about how they feel, I found this book fascinating. It is also a way of putting pen to paper to dark and frustrating thoughts. For this reason, I reckon this book is a great opportunity to feel heard and understood by someone who has been through a lot and has had the courage to speak up.
The subtitle of this book is 'Break your patterns. Master your emotions. Reclaim your life.'. In this way, it immediately comes across as a 'self-help' book. And yet, it is more than that: the life of a Swedish entrepreneur. As it often happens, he had everything he wished for but he wasn't happy. Anderson was in a dark place mentally and when he realised it, he decided to go on a journey to find himself which he tells in this book. Through his personal experiences and diary entries, the author shows that to be vulnerable is sometimes necessary to live a better life.
3. How Not to Be a Boy by Robert Webb
One of the 'rules to be a boy/man' is don't cry because it would show that you have emotions and feelings. With this captivating title that arises many questions, Robert Webb chooses to talk about the 'rules' and all the expectations men, in particular, have since their childhood. As a comedian, he found his 'power' in making people laugh but other than that he discusses the pressure that men have at every stage of their lives. In this book, Robert Webb explores how he became the man he is now. An autobiography, honest and funny that can only make us understand why we are the way we are.
4. The Descent of Man by Grayson Perry
In a similar way to Robert Webb, Grayson Perry talks about masculinity but from a different approach. He goes to the source of it and explores its meaning. The main difference is also about how Grayson goes beyond his experience and thinks about overcoming the idea of men as 'macho'. In fact, the question he asks himself becomes what makes a man if that old idea of manhood dies, would this new idea improve relationships as well and bring happiness? With four stars on Goodreads, this book gives a hindsight into masculinity and could be defined as a new Manifesto for Men.
5. No More Mr Nice Guy by Robert A. Glover
Four stars on Goodreads too, No More Mr Nice Guy is another book that deals with the implications of being a man. It is though from a more expert point of view as Dr. Robert A. Glover is a therapist specialised in marriage and family. The 'Nice Guy Syndrome' is rather common and not many realise that they have it. Once they do, it can affect so many lives because those who have this syndrome want to please others that bad that they neglect their own needs. On a long term, it also affects others around them because they then get frustrated. In this book, Robert A. Glover gives the tools to help them prioritise themselves and to live a more fulfilling life.
6. Boys Don't Cry by Tim Grayburn As men in particular, talking about mental health issues and how they feel can be seen as absurd consequently many men don't express their feelings. This often leads to aggravating situations in which they suffer more yet they don't speak up about it. In fact, the subtitle of this book is 'A story of love, depression, and men'. According to Tim Grayburn's research, suicide is one of the main causes of death among men aged 20-45 in the UK. This is due to difficult diagnoses which often lead to extreme situations. Tim, like many other men suffering of depression, thought if he spoke up it would bring shame upon him. And yet, he found the courage to open up and show that whoever is in similar circumstances is not alone. In this book then, Tim speaks about his journey about depression which made him realise that it should be talked about it more.
7. I Don’t Want to Talk about it: Overcoming the Secret Legacy of Male Depression by Terrence Real
Another book with a striking title. Terrence Real's work approaches male depression too. Similar to Dr. Robert A. Glover, the author is a psychotherapist. He speaks from his professional experience and twenty years of listening to people talking about their lives. The main conclusion he had is that depression is a silent epidemic in men. There are many stigmas around depression in men as it is often considered 'un-manly'. Many men consequently pass on their issues to their children because they try to escape them. In a mix of patients' stories and his own experience with depression, Real offers more than just a way to overcome these obstacles.
8. 10 % Happier by Dan Harris
Dan Harris offers a different approach to manhood. As he was victim of a nationally televised panic attack, he realised that he had to do something about it. The realisation of what was wrong with him changed his life. He had an incessant voice within himself that brought him to a hypercompetitive buisness. Harris found a way to control this voice and this happened through meditation. In this way, he shows that what we can change is already within us but sometimes we need help to make it come out.
9. Listen Little Man by Wilhelm Reich
Another expert's talk, Wilhelm Reich is a physician who in this book talks about the average human being. Compared to the others, this is an older book as it was published in 1946 yet it is still relevant nowadays. The author analyses what the 'Little Man' does to himself in terms of suffering and rebellion. It is also about the potential everyone has within themselves and assuming the responsibility of our lives.
10. Man Up: Surviving Modern Masculinity by Jack Urwin
Last but not least, Jack Urwin's book is about masculinity and its history. Modern ideas of manhood go back to the 20th century as the inablity of older generations to talk about war and the horrors they had to endure left an impact on younger generations. Once again, mental health issues are discussed in this world that prefers silence over honest and heartbreaking truths. Man Up, in fact, suggests solutions to overcome pressure and challenges that men have today.
To conclude, we hope you will find one of these books inspiring and maybe even start reading it. With these recommendations, we also aim to widen readers' horizons about men's health and all the relative issues that come with speaking up.
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